Do As I Say…Not As I Do

Apr
2011
11

posted by on daughter, life, mom, SAHM

7 comments

We can learn so much about how our kids see the world when we watch them play. This morning my two kiddos were playing “mommy and daddy”. My son would put on dads tie and head towards the door and my daughter would run after him yelling “have a great day!” Soon my son became tired of wearing the tie and he wanted her to wear it. She adamantly refused. I asked her what the problem was and told her that she can be the one that goes to work now. She was appalled and replied “Girls don’t work only boys work!”
This got me thinking about the message I was sending my kids by being a stay at home mom. It is such a complicated concept even for an adult. Everyday, you hear a mom say “I love being at home with my kids. It’s the best job in the world!” This is especially prominent here in mommy blogger land. Don’t get me wrong, I love MOST aspects of this job but if you asked me if I want my daughter to grow up aspiring to be a SAHM, I would say “ummmm no”. If she ends up choosing to be one that is great and I will be proud of her.
The thing about being a SAHM is that for the most part my kids only see one side of me. To them, I am just a mom, ALL of the time. I don’t have friends, hobbies, work, or any other priorities. I am a very one dimensional person in their eyes and I think I lose a bit of respect from them. Dad is a boss, dad is smart, dad has friends and most of all dad is a novelty.

I guess I thought that I would have kids that might not want to go out into the world so freely. I thought that at least one of them would be shy and want nothing more than to stay at home with me. I used this to justify to myself a need for me to be at home. However, both of my kids are social butterflies, wildly independent and chomping at the bit to get out into the world.

With all of that passion, I guess I don’t want her to have to rein it in to be a SAHM. I want her kids to see her for all of who she is and not just the keeper of the Cheerios. This is a hard road to walk and I don’t want her to lose herself when she has kids. I want her to be able to share all of who she is. Pushing her dreams off, waiting for “when the kids are a little older”.

As moms, we always try our best. Even when we do everything right, sometimes our efforts are misunderstood. This is one instance when I hope my daughter chooses a different path. Not walking in a completely different direction just one with more scenery.