03 May 2011
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Mommy Wars

This week is teacher appreciation week, yes it’s this week, for those of you who read about my journey to find the last flowers on Earth last week only to find out I didn’t need them until this week. Anyways, today was finally the day to bring the flowers and Ansley was set on bringing purple daisies which of course I found because I am super mom.

The idea to bring flowers was not my own. It was actually put together by another mom in the class. She organized and emailed. She sent reminders and made sure everyone was involved. We were to bring one flower for each of the two teachers and when they put them together they would have a beautiful bouquet with a flower representing each child in their class. So sweet it makes your teeth hurt huh? A great idea and I was happy to play along.

This morning we got out of the car and headed to the class with our two purple daisies in hand. When we arrived there were two moms already there. They are very buddy buddy. You know, like they wait for each other in the parking lot, high school style, so they can walk to class together. Well, one of them has a GIGANTIC bouquet of flowers for the teachers and the other one has a glass vase with 3 long stemmed roses for each teacher! Makes my purple daisies look like weeds I pulled out of the yard but Ansley is happy about them and so am I. The organizing mom looks like you just ran over her puppy and made her kitten watch! Her two pink flowers are no match for the monster bouquet and vase of roses.

On Thursday, we are supposed to bring a simple craft for each teacher. Well, look out Martha Stewart because I am pretty sure a craft war has been declared by the moms of room 1! There aren’t going to be any turkey’s made from a child’s handprint that’s for sure. This will all be compounded by the fact that Thursday is the Mother’s Day Tea Party so any outragious crafts that are presented will recieve continued praise in the pressence of your competitors for at least 90 minutes. If birthday parties are the super bowl then this counts as the playoffs. Get your glue sticks ready ladies and may the most creative mommy “win”!

Moms are so silly and I suppose that in the end it is all in good fun. Having a little healthy competition is what keeps us on our game I guess. It would be hard to keep the energy up year after year if we didn’t have a little competitive motivation. Of course you do it for your kids but you also do it for the love of the game!


28 Apr 2011
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Random Ramblings of a Thursday

8 days…that’s how long it’s been since I wrote a post. Actually, that is how long it’s been since I have even visited my blog. I think I have been avoiding it because I have been in kind of a funk. Feeling a little lost as to what’s next. I am not a very content person when I am not trying to take over the world. I don’t like not having projects. Wiping butts, pouring apple juice and trying to get glue out of cotton shorts is SUPER fun and all but I am always on the hunt for something more.

So coming around to my blog just reminds me that I have nothing going on right now to write about! I figured now that the best way to get over it was to just sit down and start typing. I can always try to make sense of it at the end. Lucky you, you get to sort through my random ramblings, but that’s what you signed up for loyal readers!

Since I am having a hard time getting all of my crazy thoughts together for separate posts I am going to annoy you with a list. Those of you who are reading this on your lunch break will appreciate my list because it will be short and you can head back to work. Those of you reading this from the linen closet while you are hiding from your kids will find that this list is not nearly long enough. Either way, enjoy!

  • Why does the media insist on burdening me with every tragic drama happening around the world. I get it, bad things are happening! I can’t shoulder the stress of the world nor am I in the position to fix all of it so please just show me what the weather is going to be tomorrow or tell me if an asteroid is going to hit me…BUT only if it is actually going to hit me! If it might hit me next year or in 10 years then don’t bother me with it today!

  • There is a sign on the window of Ansley’s classroom. It says “Dress For Mess!” OK, I can do that…she is dressed for a mess. She is NOT dressed to come home with glue and glitter from her hair to her shoes! I can understand letting them be artistic without worrying about making a mess but it’s costing me a small fortune to keep her in “mess” clothes! Tell her to stop gluing her shirt to her shorts!! I write the checks so you get to have the hard conversations!

  • I had one of those mom days on Tuesday. You know the ones where you should just go home before someone gets hurt. I had to run around to 4 stores on the way to Ansley’s school to find flowers for teacher appreciation day. I finally found some very puffy red roses left over from the weekend at a Walgreens for $15! Whatever, I needed them. We get to school and nobody else has flowers (every kid is supposed to bring 2)…so I ask and find out that it’s NEXT week! Ugh! So I stuff them in my purse and head home. Later in the day we head grocery shopping and every time I start the car to back out one of the kids yells ”You didn’t buckle me in!”…oops, good thing they are looking out for themselves…Once we get home and we have caused havoc in every grocery store in town, I notice that Ansley’s shoes are on the wrong feet! I ask her if her shoes were taken off at school and she said “No, you put them on the wrong feet this morning” *sigh* 

  • I realized last weekend that I have these two big kids! I set them both up to color Easter eggs and they sat and decorated them, had fun and I hardly had to help at all. When did that happen?…

  • I am obsessed with cupcakes right now…look for cupcakes posts…they are coming!

  • We have a new “pet”. Actually, she is just a lizard that got trapped in our garage and refuses to leave. The kids call her Lizzie and she likes to watch me do laundry. She hides from hubby but she comes out and sits on top of the rakes to watch me fold clothes. I think we are all kind of attached…well until she touches me and then she is outta here!

  • We have a small family so I am not sure why the kids think they can sneak onto the table and eat the frosting off of my cupcakes and I won’t know who did it…

  • It’s only 6 months until the next Twilight movie! I am about to pee my pants just talking about it!

  • Why do my kids insist on laying on the floor in front of the timed air freshener and then yelling “what’s that smell?!” when it sprays…for the 1 millionth time…”It’s the air freshener!”

  • The dog is always eating the cat food and the cat is always eating the dog food, why?….just because they can I guess

  • Lastly, we probably wouldn’t need vaccines if we weren’t required to sit in germ infested waiting rooms for two hours just to get them! Also, a note to parents of sick kids at the doctor; if your kid is sick DO NOT let them come into the “WELL CHILD and BABY” waiting room to play! After they have played with my kid for an hour, I hear you telling the nurse that they have had a wet cough and fever for 6 days! WTF?!?

Happy Thursday everyone! I must get these chores done because there is a lot of amazing television on tonight (Grey’s, Private Practice, Vampire Diaries…) OH! How I love Thursday’s!

20 Apr 2011
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Twitter AKA Super Moms Bragging Forum

When we embark on the journey of motherhood we have every intention to make every moment a magical memory for our kids. However, some of us are not that great at making magical moments. Some of us have misplaced our fairy dust and never feel like we are meeting our goals. As if that isn’t bad enough, enter other mommies, who seem to always be doing something over the top!

When I get up in the morning, I spend a few minutes skimming through the twitter just to see what’s happening. This is where I hear all the activities that other moms have planned for the day. Before I have even had my caffeine I’m reading about how clean their kitchen is, how many poo poo’s their little one has gone in the potty, what vegan-gluten-sugar free blah blah blah they are whipping up from scratch or what they have already planted and harvested from their backyard herb garden…an herb garden…really?

I also can’t stand love hearing about the newest novel that they have time to lounge on the couch and read while their children color quietly at their feet. Of course in my neck of the woods it takes me 3 weeks to finish a 300 page self help book. Every time I sit on the couch there is a small person whispering “booger” in my ear or saying “Look at me! You aren’t looooooookkkiiiiinng!” I often wonder how many times in a day I yell “get out of my room!” or “Holly! Get down!” Holly being the dog, who was also absent on the day god handed out ears and attention span.

Between kids, pets, a husband and keeping the house clean enough not to be on an episode of hoarders there is just no time to cook from scratch, make homemade cleansers or babyfood, grow my own salad, sew my own clothes, coupon to feed the homeless or make my own home décor from scraps I found at a yard sale.

We get it, you are a super mom but can you at least stay off twitter until I have had my caffeine so you don’t bum me out for the rest of the day! Otherwise, I hope you choke on your oregano…

11 Apr 2011
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Do As I Say…Not As I Do

We can learn so much about how our kids see the world when we watch them play. This morning my two kiddos were playing “mommy and daddy”. My son would put on dads tie and head towards the door and my daughter would run after him yelling “have a great day!” Soon my son became tired of wearing the tie and he wanted her to wear it. She adamantly refused. I asked her what the problem was and told her that she can be the one that goes to work now. She was appalled and replied “Girls don’t work only boys work!”
This got me thinking about the message I was sending my kids by being a stay at home mom. It is such a complicated concept even for an adult. Everyday, you hear a mom say “I love being at home with my kids. It’s the best job in the world!” This is especially prominent here in mommy blogger land. Don’t get me wrong, I love MOST aspects of this job but if you asked me if I want my daughter to grow up aspiring to be a SAHM, I would say “ummmm no”. If she ends up choosing to be one that is great and I will be proud of her.
The thing about being a SAHM is that for the most part my kids only see one side of me. To them, I am just a mom, ALL of the time. I don’t have friends, hobbies, work, or any other priorities. I am a very one dimensional person in their eyes and I think I lose a bit of respect from them. Dad is a boss, dad is smart, dad has friends and most of all dad is a novelty.

I guess I thought that I would have kids that might not want to go out into the world so freely. I thought that at least one of them would be shy and want nothing more than to stay at home with me. I used this to justify to myself a need for me to be at home. However, both of my kids are social butterflies, wildly independent and chomping at the bit to get out into the world.

With all of that passion, I guess I don’t want her to have to rein it in to be a SAHM. I want her kids to see her for all of who she is and not just the keeper of the Cheerios. This is a hard road to walk and I don’t want her to lose herself when she has kids. I want her to be able to share all of who she is. Pushing her dreams off, waiting for “when the kids are a little older”.

As moms, we always try our best. Even when we do everything right, sometimes our efforts are misunderstood. This is one instance when I hope my daughter chooses a different path. Not walking in a completely different direction just one with more scenery.

06 Apr 2011
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30 Year Itch

Home at last…vacation was wonderful but trying to get back to normal is a lot of work. It didn’t help that we took a red eye home which turned everyone even more topsy turvy than they already were. It might take us the rest of the week but we WILL get back to normal….right?

Once my 30th birthday rolled around I decided to examine the last 30 years and pinpoint a source of stress in my life…and change it. It was pretty obvious to me that I not only sweat the small stuff…I obsess about the small stuff. My entire day is scheduled with the kids, when they eat, when they bathe and especially when they sleep. Always analyzing and reanalyzing to maximize time. I am never late…to anything. I am always painfully early and most of the time I have half assed my entire day trying to get there. What’s the point? I am usually the only one there once I arrive and nobody ever says “Wow! You are so great at being early and looking crappy!”

I am hardly ever spontaneous with my kiddos. I panic if they fall asleep late in the afternoon because I know they will never be ready to sleep at bedtime. I feel like I have missed a lot of precious time with them while they are so little. Yesterday I sat on the couch with them to watch SpongeBob and they both fell asleep on me. At first the panic set in. It was almost 5pm, I hadn’t started dinner, and bedtime is at 8pm! I remembered my new way of thinking and decided to enjoy the moment and just watch some tv. It was wonderful and that one hour was more relaxing than my entire vacation. I started dinner a little late, the kids took a very long nap but everything fell into place and they called it a night about 9:30. The best thing of all…we all survived and the world didn’t end. The dishwasher needs to be emptied, the playroom is littered with toys and we are VERY low on clean towels but taking the time to just relax with the kids made it all ok. I know at the end of my life I will never say “I wish I had made the kids go to bed at 8 instead of 8:30″.

Besides over thinking every second of everyday I have been too damn accommodating the last 30 years. I go to everything that everyone wants me to, I am of course early and stay late, I drive and drive and drive and drive but nobody ever seems to make it to my house for the day. I ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS give the polite response. I never get into heated debates or tell people they are wrong even though anyone who really knows me, knows that I have a strong opinion…on everything! I am right there to tell you how wonderful and smart you are even though you are driving me crazy with your stupid outlook, dumb decisions, constant drama and “my poo doesn’t stink” attitude. I don’t say anything when I’m treated like I haven’t been there or done that. Yes, I am married with kids but that doesn’t mean I was born that way! I fully enjoyed my teens and my 20′s so you can bet that if you’ve done it then I have to.

30 years is long enough to do and say what everyone else wants hear. The stress has finally caught up with me and I don’t want to waste anymore time obsessing over others when I could be napping with my kiddos! I want to enjoy my hubby’s BBQ without stressing about cleaning the mess and put off cleaning the garage so we can have a picnic lunch in the backyard. So here’s to the next 30 years of doing what I want…no matter what’s on the schedule!

05 Apr 2011
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Little Switches Make A BIG Difference

Life is hectic and then you add kids into the mix and things go off the rails! Trying to keep balance and hold onto old habits can make a girl lose her mind. Sometimes you have to let go and make a switch. Something new might be just what you need to move forward.

Hubby and I were together for some time before we introduced kids into our life. We had 8 years of staying out late, eating out, seeing movies, drinking like a fish, crashing on couches and keeping every penny we made to ourselves. We lived the life and we knew things would change once the kids came along of course but we weren’t ready to let go of all of our childless habits just yet.

One thing we tried to keep up with was going out to eat. We would pack up the babies and head out to a restaurant. What were we thinking?! Between bottles, crying, stinky diapers, one high chair and one in a carrier I had no free hands and nowhere near enough attention or time to have a conversation! Wait a minute…didn’t we come here to eat? Well, I really didn’t get to do that!

We spent countless nights trying to keep up with an old habit that we were no longer in a position to enjoy. Not to mention the fortune we spent on food that neither of us got to eat. That is when we knew it was time to make a switch. We decided to move our date night to the living room and we couldn’t be happier.

On Friday nights, hubby brings home a bottle (or two) of wine and a movie. I make something easy for dinner that I don’t have to spend hours cleaning up. We spend time with the kids, go through their bedtime routine and put them to bed. Then it’s our time. We can watch our movie and enjoy our wine. Often we spend time talking about the time when the kids are grown and we can go back to eating out…in peace.

To save our sanity we had to find balance. Making a switch to a new habit is often the best thing we can do as a parent. There is a time in our life for everything. Hubby and I know that one day our fancy dinners will come back but for now we are enjoying the softer side of life.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Cottonelle blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

27 Mar 2011
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One Week Down, One Week To Go

I made it! This statement applies in a couple of ways. For one, I made it half way through our vacation and everyone seems to be having a great time. In another respect, I made it to 30 and I am still breathing! Even though I haven’t slowed down enough to really take it all in. Once I get home next week, I am sure the full weight of 30 will be felt. My birthday was wonderful. Hubby came through with amazing jewelry (bonus points for him!), I won some cash at the casino and hubby and I got to spend some much needed alone time together. A small but fabulous group of people gathered for drinks to help me celebrate on Friday. I felt very loved!
The kids made it to a birthday party and we conquered SeaWorld last week. The kids have spent tons of time with my parents and surprisingly neither of them are tired of each other! Everyone is trying to get in as much time as they can before the plane takes off.
It is still weird to come home. I can’t help but feel that some people are just…over us and as much as we love coming back to California I enjoy being out of the fray. I am ready to tackle this last week of vacation and I promise to check in more this week! BUT, I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t quite make my quota.

17 Mar 2011
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Vacations, Birthdays and “What’s that smell?”

This very long day of travel is already off to a “great” start since it’s 4 am and I have been playing musical beds with the kids for at least two hours. When I finally found a quite bed where I could sleep the most irritating dog on the planet adorable puppy decided since she was up that she would take a crap in the floor of the room I was sleeping in. Now I am up again, cleaning poop and it’s too stinky to sleep in that room. When I open the door, the 2 year old is wide awake standing in the hall for the 127th time. I put him back to bed and gave up on sleep for myself. So with a total of 3 hours sleep I am going to run around all day like a crazy woman, go to a crowded airport with two children, get on a nonstop flight from one side of the country to the other at 4 pm (otherwise known as “crazy time” at our house) and try not to lose my mind before the plane touches down on the other side.
I was watching a show, Modern Family I think, and their family went on vacation. The husband wanted his wife to let loose and relax because they were on vacation. She told him “this isn’t vacation, I’m a mom, this is a business trip!” Isn’t that the truth! It’s hard to relax when you are the keeper of…well, everything. I found myself amused yesterday while I was packing hubby’s boxer shorts; he never mentioned packing any of his stuff. In fact, he rolled his eyes slightly when I told him we needed another suitcase for the trip. So what was his plan? His plan was that I would take care of all of the insignificant details like washing and packing his clothes!

All of that aside, I am thrilled to be going on vacation. I am so excited to see my parents, my brother and my friends. We are taking the kids to Sea World (their favorite place on Earth!) and there is that little thing called “My 30th birthday!” Hubby and I are taking a 3 day side trip for my birthday with casino’s and wine tasting and SLEEP! I am really looking forward to it…the sleep not the 30 part.

So here begins the last week of my 20′s and our very first family vacation as a “complete family”. Wish me luck! Hopefully I will not strangle one of my children or my husband on the plane. I also hope that I can get up early enough tomorrow to make my 10am hair appointment, that my kids don’t put all of their food on my mothers floor during meals times and that I don’t say something so rude and inappropriate while drunk on my birthday that someone never speaks to me again.

If it’s slow around here, you know why but I’ll be back so don’t go away! Lauterbach Family Vacation 2011 has officially started! I should have had t-shirts with that printed for hubby and the kids to wear on the plane. HA! That would teach him to let me be in charge of his clothes!

See you soon!

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